it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
