We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
