I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
