Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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