i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
