Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
