You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
