it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
