We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
