i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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