I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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