look no pants
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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