i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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