all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
