Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
