even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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