covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
