Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
false alarm. still invincible.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
