Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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