nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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