Umm I'm too high to move.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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