how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
