I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
