weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
