I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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