You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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