my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
