im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sorry my hands just texted you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
