she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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