Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
