I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize