she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
