Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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