Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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