even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
