Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
