everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
