I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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