I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
