i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
