Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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