there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
