it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize