ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
