I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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