that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize