You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
