We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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