I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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