is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
