Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
