are you still at the devil's house?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize