how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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