So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
