Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
