just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Green mimosas i think yes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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