Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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