Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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