I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
