I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
