New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
