Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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